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Fun Stuff
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Garbage Collectin'
There's something about the White Stripes that just ingratiates their music into my head.
Here's my take on Hotel Yorba. (I just find that song to be damn catchy...) I'm trying
to get some people to play some songs at Win-Dev 2003 - maybe I'll do this one.
I was coding
some WinForms just the other night
I had fifteen megs in my working set
I had twenty in my sights
I had fun
I was codin' and drinkin' wine
I called 39 constructors handled 27 events
everthing just worked out fine
well it's 1 2 3 4
use the allocator
let the common language runtime
run the finalizer later
All you've gotta fight is latency
I been thinking
I wanna write some A S P
I wanna grab a data set and push it to the web
I wonder how cool will that be
When it gets done?
on a shiny server of my own
Serve it to the masses till the worker process crashes
then I'll quit and go on home
well it's 1 2 3 4
run the JIT compiler
in the common language runtime
use a managed-mode provider
Optimized for your DB
It might seem silly
for me to write code in VB
but i'm so tired of acting tough
trying to debug memory leaks
COM's so scary
when you gotta manually release
If a runtimes gonna help you at all
it should do GC at least
well it's 1 2 3 4
use the allocator
let the common language runtime
run the finalizer later
All you've gotta fight is latency
Top Ten signs you've been hacking on Rotor too much:
10 You wish the rest of your life had a convenient env.bat file too
9 You go to a nice restaraunt and wish the couple at the next table would turn the log level on their infant down from LL_EVERYTHING.
8 You ran "sn -k" until you found a keyfile that looks like Claudia Schiffer when viewed as a bitmap.
7 When you see an attractive woman you think "I sure would like to crawl *her* stack." But then you realize you'd probably find a top-level Deny marker anyway.
6 You've hooked up the JIT Compiler to the PC speaker and wrote a program that makes it play "Fur Elise".
5 Your 13 year old daughter seems distant, and you worry that she is not dealing well with the transition to Gen1.
4 You've ported the runtime to your Tivo so you can hack and watch "Buffy" at the same time.
3 You're lobbying to have fork() added to the PAL and have implemented it for both Windows and FreeBSD.
2 Two words: Managed iPod.
1 You lay awake at night worrying that somewhere, someone has just released the last rooted reference to you.
PetShop code
Sung to the tune of "Punk Rock Girl"
One Saturday I wrote some c# for .NET
I wrote a server app that almost knocked me dead
PetShop code! (please work for me)
PetShop code! (what do you see)
We'll dominate the world
just you and me PetShop code
I asked a Java girl if she could make it go
she took one look at the code and said she did not know
PetShop code! (give me a chance)
PetShop code! (I'm in a trance)
The Java geeks will hurl
at me and my PetShop code
We went to the Middleware company
to see if they agreed
The tester said "well, no, but we can slice and dice"
So we jumped up on the server and shouted anarchy
and watched performance monitor on the server box
The .NET code was creamin'
so we started screamin'
that EJB must pay
We posted results to the web before our Sunday meal
Scott McNeally took one look and he began to squeal
"PetShop code! (it makes no sense)
PetShop code! (you need object persistence)
this .NET makes me hurl
You need Java for your PetShop code!
We went to sun microsystems
and laughed at all the Java
and security guards trailed us and tried to make us stop
We asked for value types
they said "no, they don't work here!"
We said if you don't got value mix-ins
then your platform needs some fixin'
We told microsoft how well their code was rollin'
We asked "how much ya pay for this?"
Bill said "nothing man, it's stolen!"
PetShop Code! (you run so wild)
PetShop Code! (you are compiled)
The Java guys will hurl,
just you and me
the aftermath unfurls,
just you and me
We'll write in managed perl!,
just youuu aaand meee Pet Shop Code!
Subterranean C# blues
sung to the tune of "Subterranean Homesick blues
*Performed with the Band on the Runtime in Redmond 11/01!
Don is in the basement
thinkin' he's a has-been
I'm runnin ngen
tryin' to get my code shipped
program wont compile though
compiler says to get lost
objects gettin' cast off
people gettin' get pissed off
Look out kid
It's somethin' you did
God knows when
But it's breakin' down again
You better shut it down anyway
start again in dismay
try to use some code gen
cause emacs really hurts when
you need eleven fingers
and you only got ten
do a paste do cut
keep the EXE file shut
try to get the code put
so that it can run but
compiler's broken anyway
errors won't go away
try to keep em at bay
Ted's suggestin' V-Bayyyy
Look out kid
Don't matter what you did
watch it as the heap grows
Don't forget to dispose
Better stay away from those
that wont catch what they throws
watch the mem grow
see the task show
You don't need a beta build
To know which way the wind blows
gray pink, pastel
message box is death knell
won't gel, hope to hell
.NET is gonna sell
Data's stale, wont scale
better track the detail
look pale e-mail
go to Java if you fail
Look out Fritz
your site'll get hits
by Slashdot losers
Internet abusers
webservice cruisers
microsoft accusers
bangin' on the thread pool
Feelin' like a real fool
Use DataReaders
Watch performance meters
Ah Windows dotnet
GetType, Reflect,
Invoke distress
Try to get some success
Steppin' in to inspect
current thread is all wrecked
Twenty years of schoolin'
just to watch the platform shift
Look out Kid
keep your private fields hid
Better run caspol
light yourself a new bowl
Don't wear sandals
Try to avoid the scandals
Don't wanna look dumb
butt starts to feel numb
The file wont close
'Cause the runtime leaked the handles
Spirit of the IUnknown
(sung to the tune of "Spirit of the Radio" (Rush, "Permanent waves"))
This was my first effort, back in 1999. Several people told me they don't quite get it
until the little "yeah, the factory!" riff. It's still fun.
Begin the day with a simple call,
A function unobtrusive
Loads the module that's so elusive
And a matching context means no marshal goo
Off on your way from the factory
Interfaces at your fingers
QueryInterface gets to you a new one
Just Release the pointer when your object's through
Transactional objects crackle with life
While they Service SOAP calls from some ASP
Giving their feedback on the final outcome
Making a call to Abort or Set Complete
All this machinery so that you can use it
Is still quite closely guarded
CreateInstance will get you a new object from the factory
(yeah the factory)
One likes to believe that it's easy to use it,
But the threading models and getting pointers marshaled
shatters the illusion of transparency
the CLSID to marshal was requested by the S-C-M...
F-T-M!
Cookies, From the GIT
For Safety! Ohhhh....For Safe-ty!
© Copyright 2003 Jason Whittington.
Last update: 3/26/2003; 3:54:59 PM.
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